Before I begin, please do not take any of my musings as fact, specific to certain people, as dogma, etc. The last thing I intend to do is cause problems with you all. Considering how volatile writing about religion and religious ideas can be on the internet, I probably should have never started this blog if I was expecting not to offend someone. And that is not, will not be, and never has been what I wanted with creating this space to share these...little eccentric ideas and experiences that embody me. Anyway, that's my disclaimer - maybe I will write an entire page to link to for future posts - and now you can enjoy my thoughts below.
I’ve come to understand existence, in a way; I’ve understood, somewhat, the dividing lines among be-ing. I’ve always wanted to simply exist, to float through the world, having nothing to do, no one to please, no box to fit in to. But being inoculated into society – which, if you happen to read as much historical literature as I do, has been a problem since humans learned to articulate it – we are taught to desire things outside of ourselves. And again, as most people know, there is nothing in this outside world that will fill you completely. Not that you can’t get close.
Let me try to explain simply; we are whole. We come into this world spiritually full. In effect, we go through life missing nothing but longing for everything. We even die whole. As God is within us, forever, at all times, we are thus complete. The unhappiness of society, that yearning we humans always long to fill, is a spiritual longing, the want to rise up and dissolve into God.
Energy always works itself back to balance. Our balance is slanted, being divorced from our Love and made to forget Him entirely. Even to believe He does not exist, cannot exist, will never exist. And so we wander from our home, not even knowing where we have come from, and persist in searching with our eyes that cannot see. It is only in death – and not always – that we can finally see our many errors.
And that error is the lack of God, not surrendering our lives to God, not wanting to understand God. And I want to be clear here that if you haven’t experienced this depth, this ocean, it is going to be very hard to understand, and it’s going to sound harsh and even offensive. But I want all people to understand, and this realization is none of those things. Love is all things, regardless of religion, name, culture, or conditioning. When God says He “will not go by any other name,” He is talking about the name of Love. His name, experienced through our human senses, is Love. Every human knows what physical love is, and there in that place, is God. He cannot be called anything else, as all types of love are still Love. Even if we changed the term, defined “love” as an object and “plate” as an emotion, then God is Plate. The experience is the same, His true name, the one that reaches out for you in so many ways, remains the same. If it is not love, it is not God.
He may go by as many names as there are languages, but as long as that heart-filling longing, that moment of wholeness, the awe of an expanded horizon, He is there. Love is always there. And when you come to see Love, when you can see Him in all things, you realize you were looking in all the wrong places.
A simple, universal emotion.
Nothing profound, nor extraordinary, feet still firmly planted on the ground.
The writings of many mystics make it all sound otherworldly. Impossible. Something you will notice instantly as something out of the normal. But there are no outward signs. There are no voices, nor visions. It’s the flutter of a wing. A pen writing on paper. Clipping your toenails.
As humans, we like to make things more complicated than they should be. Or could ever be. God comes to us in the most simple of ways, touching our hearts to ignite them aflame. Many let that flame reduce to a cinder, but it is always there. Smoldering. Forever. Yet we look for God in others, in hierarchy, splendor, in campaigns and in history and with eyes trained to look for something special. But there is nothing special. God can come and embrace you in the love of your child, in a moment of peaceful idleness out in nature, in the magnificent feats of human architecture and aesthetic creation. In a piece of music that hits just right. He is inside us all.
I remember way back in the Tumblr days when everyone on the internet with some celestial body in their icon and special characters in their nature-goddess username would say how “we are made of stars and moondust.” And then a few years later we all made fun of those cliches. But in reality, it is even better: we are all part of God.
Our souls will never stop longing for it. The human mind will never stop craving it. And unfortunately, we will never stop creating other more incorrect ways to fill it.
Am I disappointed that I didn’t have some kind of mystical magical revelation when I was gifted this understanding? Yeah sort of.
Am I disappointed that I don’t feel humble enough, am not meek enough, didn’t struggle enough? Yes, that too.
But what makes this truly God, is that we are worthy of nothing, all our works for God earn us nothing, and we can never become what we used to be until God Wills it. And here we are, a little creature, and Love comes along, doesn’t pass us by, but delivers a gift of such treasure we are left in awe.
So then, what does this have to do with real life? Well, if you can find Love and accept Its gift, there will be nothing stopping you from simply existing in God’s grace. And I think that’s the best we are going to get this side of Heaven.